im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
