woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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