My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
