ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
