idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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