garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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