If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
