I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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