A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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