Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
