dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
