I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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