I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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