I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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