literally had 100 drinks last night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
