I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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