Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
