Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize