Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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