before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
