Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
