god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
whose parrot is this?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
