There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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