dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
