I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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