just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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