THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize