Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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