I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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