And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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