I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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