we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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