Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
