My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
