I'm lost and stupid without you.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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