I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
