I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
