Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
