"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
