Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
