His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
