Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
