Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
