four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
