dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
