Only a mothe r could love this liver
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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