My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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