I just cut my nipple shaving
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize