Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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