I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
