Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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