put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
