this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
