Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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