It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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