Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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