HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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