I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There's always time for handjobs
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
