Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
