We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
