We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
